Out of Balance
23
Psalm 139:23-14
Examine me, God! Look at my heart!
Put me to the test! Know my anxious thoughts!
24 Look to see if there is any hurtful way in me,
then lead me on the eternal path!
I am out of balance.
I know this because my body is acting klutzy: tripping over extension cords and cracking a bone in my elbow; bumping into furniture and collecting bruises; dropping items for no apparent reason.
I know this because my brain is not working in its usual ways. My attention span is jumpy. I'm forgetting things that should be easy to remember. I make decisions without thinking them through and thereby frustrate my friends. I feel like I can't completely trust my judgment. I find myself staring into space or just staring at the TV for way too long! It just feels like my brain is foggy. I call it "COVID Brain"--unclear thinking and impaired memory caused by living in unsettling and stressful times.
Our bodies and our brains will tell us when we're out of balance...if we pay attention to the out-of-character things we do and think. And it's time to pay attention because it's clear our situation is not going to change anytime soon. I've been focusing--at least internally--on the hope of that long-distant day when we will all go "back to normal." But I think my spirit knows what my brain doesn't want to admit: we will never go "back to normal." Our challenge now is to figure out how to become physically, spiritually, emotionally and relationally re-balanced. Where do we start and what do we do to bring calm and focused strength back to our lives?
Folks have many answers to that question: Gardening to renew our sense of connection with nature. Hiking to strengthen our bodies and enforce alone time and reflection. Baking to reclaim the routines of our ancestors. Conversing on the phone, text or email, or socially distanced over the back fence. Volunteering at the Thrift Store or Navajo COVID Project to be around other people and draw ourselves out of isolation. Reading Bible passages or Upper Room devotional or other spiritual writings to draw us back into our deep faith and trust in God. Praying--constantly, fervently, loudly and/or quietly--knowing that God is our safe place to express all that we feel, both positive and awful.
I know where I need to be. I want to wake up in the morning and feel like it's a good and normal day with good and normal things to do. I want to stop thinking that we are simply in a holding pattern until we get "back to normal." I want to embrace today's reality and let go of my fantasy of this situation one day ending. My dear friend Norman Mark is trying to teach me the Dineh way--the Beauty Way--where we don't look beyond today--we live one day at a time and give thanks for what we have for today and give thanks for the people we share our time with. Welcome the sunrise. Embrace each hour and each footstep. Welcome the sunset and the gifts of the night. Know that whatever we have, wherever we are, whatever we do rests on the foundation of trusting our Creator. Instead of tensing up and trying to control or change our situation, we can rest and breathe and trust that all will be well.
I am out of balance. To find my balance once again, I must let go.
Spirit, lead me back to balance in your goodness and beauty. Amen.
Prayer Concerns: for Olajawan (OJ) Mark, Pastor Norman & Rebecca Mark, Vanessa, Pearl and Alyssa, and family. OJ is in a Waco, TX, hospital. His liver and kidneys are failing and family has traveled to Waco to be with him. For Rebecca (niece of Carolyn Hoff), a nurser who is working with COVID patients. For Mark (nephew of Carolyn Hoff) who is a missionary with his family in Honduras and trying to return to the United States.
Peace and all good,
Pastor Jean
Psalm 139:23-14
Examine me, God! Look at my heart!
Put me to the test! Know my anxious thoughts!
24 Look to see if there is any hurtful way in me,
then lead me on the eternal path!
I am out of balance.
I know this because my body is acting klutzy: tripping over extension cords and cracking a bone in my elbow; bumping into furniture and collecting bruises; dropping items for no apparent reason.
I know this because my brain is not working in its usual ways. My attention span is jumpy. I'm forgetting things that should be easy to remember. I make decisions without thinking them through and thereby frustrate my friends. I feel like I can't completely trust my judgment. I find myself staring into space or just staring at the TV for way too long! It just feels like my brain is foggy. I call it "COVID Brain"--unclear thinking and impaired memory caused by living in unsettling and stressful times.
Our bodies and our brains will tell us when we're out of balance...if we pay attention to the out-of-character things we do and think. And it's time to pay attention because it's clear our situation is not going to change anytime soon. I've been focusing--at least internally--on the hope of that long-distant day when we will all go "back to normal." But I think my spirit knows what my brain doesn't want to admit: we will never go "back to normal." Our challenge now is to figure out how to become physically, spiritually, emotionally and relationally re-balanced. Where do we start and what do we do to bring calm and focused strength back to our lives?
Folks have many answers to that question: Gardening to renew our sense of connection with nature. Hiking to strengthen our bodies and enforce alone time and reflection. Baking to reclaim the routines of our ancestors. Conversing on the phone, text or email, or socially distanced over the back fence. Volunteering at the Thrift Store or Navajo COVID Project to be around other people and draw ourselves out of isolation. Reading Bible passages or Upper Room devotional or other spiritual writings to draw us back into our deep faith and trust in God. Praying--constantly, fervently, loudly and/or quietly--knowing that God is our safe place to express all that we feel, both positive and awful.
I know where I need to be. I want to wake up in the morning and feel like it's a good and normal day with good and normal things to do. I want to stop thinking that we are simply in a holding pattern until we get "back to normal." I want to embrace today's reality and let go of my fantasy of this situation one day ending. My dear friend Norman Mark is trying to teach me the Dineh way--the Beauty Way--where we don't look beyond today--we live one day at a time and give thanks for what we have for today and give thanks for the people we share our time with. Welcome the sunrise. Embrace each hour and each footstep. Welcome the sunset and the gifts of the night. Know that whatever we have, wherever we are, whatever we do rests on the foundation of trusting our Creator. Instead of tensing up and trying to control or change our situation, we can rest and breathe and trust that all will be well.
I am out of balance. To find my balance once again, I must let go.
Spirit, lead me back to balance in your goodness and beauty. Amen.
Prayer Concerns: for Olajawan (OJ) Mark, Pastor Norman & Rebecca Mark, Vanessa, Pearl and Alyssa, and family. OJ is in a Waco, TX, hospital. His liver and kidneys are failing and family has traveled to Waco to be with him. For Rebecca (niece of Carolyn Hoff), a nurser who is working with COVID patients. For Mark (nephew of Carolyn Hoff) who is a missionary with his family in Honduras and trying to return to the United States.
Peace and all good,
Pastor Jean
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